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5 Tips From The Modern Indian Women’s Date Guide

Always offer to split the bill


After much struggle for equal rights we’ve established our right to independence and freedom- why then would we digress and go backwards when it comes to financial independence and paying our own bills? Isn’t it hypocritical to ask for and expect equal rights in all areas of life but then expect the guy to pay your share of the date expense when you go out?

Expecting the man to pay also gives him the right to expect sexual favours in return. Be honest with yourself and understand if that’s what you really want to do. And if that’s not the kind of woman you want to be, then offer to share the bill or take turns to pay. Be frank and upfront if you think you wouldn’t be able to afford a date activity, and you could probably do something else where you can afford to pay your share. But never expect your partner to pay all the time.

When you split the bill, you don’t owe your partner anything- making walking away from a bad date, guilt-free. You’re also then more comfortable during the date because you aren’t obligated, and your comfort comes across as confidence which is extremely appealing to men. And let’s be honest, would you really want to pay for your meal and your date’s meal- in this economy? Wouldn’t that sour your impression of the person who’s expecting you to pay all the time?

Don’t dominate the conversation


People enjoy talking about themselves, so encourage your partner to participate equally in the conversation without droning on and on about your own stories. If it’s not a mutual topic of interest, don’t ramble.
Check body language and interest levels of your partner when you’re talking…

We all tend to overshare sometimes, especially about our personal lives, but keep that for date five. Or ten. Kidding. But don’t open that can of worms on the first date. A passionate back-and-forth about your common love of music makes for great conversation. Venting about how badly your ex treated you, is date atmosphere killer. And you possibly won’t be asked out by him again.

Don’t be too Quiet either


To avoid an interview-like atmosphere, take cues from their conversation and keep a good balance so that both of you have an equal amount of time to talk.
If you are nervous, remember that your partner is just another human being and is probably as worried as you are. Sharing humorous anecdotes and picking up where your partner left off and expanding on a topic will help ease the atmosphere.
Example:
Samir: So that’s why I decided to come back to India because the opportunities here are starting to look much better.
What you could say: Ah, okay.
What you should say: How do you feel about being back here? Is it easier to find employment?
How has India treated you since you’ve been back?

Be considerate


Of course appearances are important you, but women can be too blunt or thoughtless sometimes and hurt feelings. If you are taller than your partner, don’t bring up that you are taller than him and that you prefer taller partners. It accomplishes nothing and leaves the other person feeling inadequate when he’s put in an effort to make a good impression on you!
Turn up on time! Agree to a time and make sure to leave with enough time on hand for traffic and unexpected delays. You can’t expect him to respect you if you don’t respect his time.
Order according to mutual likes. If you’re sharing a dish, discussing likes and dislikes is the way to go. If you’re ordering for yourself, ordering a hardcore non-veg meal like tandoori chicken when he’s vegetarian is inconsiderate. If you absolutely must have a non-veg dish, choose something that’s not so ‘in your face’.

Don’t be a tragedy queen


No new date wants to hear about your ‘psychotic’ ex-boyfriend/husband. And going on about how bad your childhood was or what an awful time you’re having at work may be your way to get sympathy and a need for your partner to act like Prince Charming and comfort you, but remember, sympathy makes for a very bad date companion. In fact, the negativity you’ve shared will not only create a bad impression of you and show you as a bitter angry person it will also completely kill the atmosphere of the date.

Keep phone usage to a minimum


Nothing is more frustrating than being on a date with someone who is constantly checking their phone. Be present and in the moment- Instagram can wait! The group chat may be dying to hear about how the date is going, but tell them later! You’ll find that a phone-free date is a richer experience, with the two of you fully invested in each other. If need be, remind your date to stay off the phone for the time being too. Of course, if your mother calls and asks if you want bhindi for dinner- excuse yourself and go to a quieter place to talk. Your new date doesn’t want to listen in on a private conversation.

It’s the small things that ensure you have a great date. Weather things work out between you and the guy, is of course dependant on a number of other things too but keeping the above points in mind will ensure you’re avoiding the common mistakes and pitfalls and set yourself up for an enjoyable date experience.

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