Wouldn’t you love to delete your account from your matrimonial site by giving the reason, “ I’ve found my partner!” But try as you might, you’re still frantically searching and hoping to find that perfect person who’ll make all your dreams of matrimonial bliss come true?
Here are three possible reasons you still haven’t found ‘The One’
Your online profile and pictures are crap
You may think they’re good enough but ask at least five men from the age group you’re looking to marry into and get their honest opinion on if you look like a good marriage prospect to them. If you even have three out of five saying yes, you still need to work on making your online presence better to get at least four to say yes. Most of all, be direct and ask them why they didn’t think you were a good prospective partner. You could ask relatives, cousins, friends, maybe even make up a fake name to forward the profile to them and get their opinion! Once you have it, make sure you incorporate their advice and keep a check to see how many more matches you’re able to get! You can even log in to the sites as a guy or go through a male friends profile to see what kind of pictures and profile descriptions other women have put up to get ideas for your own!
Remember, men are visual creatures so the initial attraction will be through your pictures and until you meet and form a bond, you are depending on your profile to get you the first contact/meeting. Remember not to photoshop the pictures though. That will definitely go against you because when you meet and he sees that the really you doesn’t match your pictures, he will think of you as a cheat, and that will be the end of your journey with him. Just be the best version of yourself. Join the gym, eat healthy, get fit. Look into getting a stylist, consult a makeup artist, see if you need to consult a dentist. You may need to go to a grooming school, or consult a relationship coach. You’ll find that the effort you put in, is directly proportional to the results you get.
Money is your primary criteria
You’re looking for a man to provide you with financial security and finding a real connection isn’t as important to you. In fact, you may compromise in every other area if he’s rich enough. There’s just one tiny problem with this mindset. You have to look young and drop dead gorgeous to be snapped up quickly. Also, men aren’t dumb. Rich, well-settled men will definitely know if you’re after their money and lifestyle. And they definitely want a lot in return! Are you up for a kinky sex life? Or a psychotic joint family? Check if you’re willing to live with the skeletons he’s hiding because it’s completely a give and take world!
Also, the money that’s attracted you in the first place, may not even be real. There are so many fake profiles online that are actually traps to lure women who’re looking to marry rich. A live example is a friends friend who married for money and found out that her husband was in debt, and a severe diabetic. He’s now living in hospital while she’s working hard to pay his bills. Another is a chubby, girl in her mid thirties who thought she won the lottery when a rich good looking guy proposed from overseas. It was actually a con and she ended up giving him all her savings before realising she’d been duped.
Instead of focusing on his money, try to be financially independent on your own and find a partner on the basis of a genuine connect and common goals and interests. Not only will you have more luck in finding someone but you’ll also have a happy, healthy, long term relationship with him. Most of all, you’ll have your husband’s respect!
You’re scared of rejection
Although you see good prospective matches, you don’t put in much effort to interact. A lot of times this could be because of a hidden insecurity that tells you that you’re not good enough for him and there is no way someone like him will choose you. So you try to safeguard yourself from rejection by rejecting him first by subconsciously deciding not to put yourself forward.
There are a few things you can immediately do to counter this situation.
List out all your positive traits and why you think you’ll make a great life partner. This will not only boost your confidence and help you respond to a larger number of profiles, but you’ll also eventually feel good about yourself and work on increasing your list of positives.
Secondly, understand that there is nobody “better” than you. Everyone, including you, are made up of both positive and negative traits. Right now you only know your own negatives but you don’t know his, so you put him on a pedestal.
Consciously tell yourself that everyone is a match if they fit into your value system and have the qualities you’re looking for in a partner.
You may have qualities that you don’t even know about that other people find hugely attractive but unless you let them know you, you won’t ever get the chance to see yourself through their eyes. For example, you may not think of yourself as a kind person but for a man who’s mostly seen selfishness and last of caring in his past, your kindness may make you the most beautiful person he has ever met. Or it could be a physical aspect that you’re ashamed of, like a chubby face. It’s very much possible that your prospective partner actually loves your chubby face because it makes you look super cute! These are things you won’t know, and you won’t meet this guy, if you hide yourself instead of leaving yourself open.
So don’t worry about rejection. After all, you are rejecting men too. And only when you leave yourself open to rejection do you truly put yourself out there and stand a greater chance to find for perfect match.
Of course there may be a number of other reasons you aren’t doing well on your online search. Do not to give up hope. See what changes need to be made and make them. Get help if you can’t figure it out yourself. Most of all, find happiness within yourself and bring that to the table when you look for a partner. Nothing is more attractive than that.